do u ever have that one female character who u like that could literally beat u up and you’d say thanks
pro tip: whenever you have a good body image day make a list of what you love about your body and then read it on the bad body image days.
Sometimes I’m internally like “How is that a trigger?, ” then I realize other people have different life experiences from me, they don’t owe me their story, and I move the fuck on.
person : This is all in your head.
me : Thats why it's called a mental disorder.
from Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment by Matthew McKay, PhD, et al.
“Thank You, Mind”
This is a very brief delusion technique in which you simply thank your mind every time an unpleasant thought pops up. It’s a quick way of reminding yourself that it’s only a thought, that thinking is what your mind does, and that in a minute your mind will be doing something else. It may take several thank-yous to defuse from a persistent train of thought. Here’s an example:
What I said was lame. “Thank you, mind.”
I’m a loser. “Thank you, mind.”
They’re laughing at me. “Thank you, mind.”
I’m anxious. “Thank you, mind.”
I’m dizzy. “Thank you, mind.”
Oh, all right, never mind.
Turning a Hand
Each time you have a painful thought, let go of it by turning your hand over as if you’re letting go of a small stone that you’ve been carrying around. Tell yourself, “There’s a thought… Let it go,” as you turn a hand and let the thought fall away.
“How Old Is This?”
Each time you have a familiar painful thought, ask yourself, “How old is this?” Recall the earliest time you can remember having the thought. This will remind you that it’s just a thought, that it has come up before, that it will continue to come up from time to time, and that you will continue to survive the thought and carry on with your life, just as you always have before.
“What’s My Mind Up To?”
This technique helps you defuse from your thoughts by creating some analytical distance. You’ll find that most distressing thoughts fit into the categories of worry, judgement, or planning, so you shouldn’t have to search very long for the right word to fill in the blanks.
When you feel distressed, try this simple technique: Instead of dwelling on distressing thoughts, ask yourself, “What’s my mind up to?” Then answer for yourself by labeling each thought as your mind presents it:
"Now my mind is having a ____________ thought."
"And now my mind is having a ____________ thought."
Continue in this way until you’ve labeled five to ten thoughts.
Breathing Mindfully While Observing Thoughts
Many of these brief defusion techniques can be enhanced by using mindful breathing to relax your body while you’re observing your thoughts. When you switch part of your attention to your breathing, it interrupts your thoughts and distracts you from giving them your full attention. In addition to observing your breath, try slowing it down. This calms your body’s flight-or-fight response to stress and sends your mind and body the message that everything is okay.
"What’s That in Service Of?"
When intrusive thoughts plague you, ask yourself, “What’s that in service of? What is my mind trying to get me to do?” For instance, say your husband’s birthday is coming up and you know he’d like to go out to dinner at his favorite restaurant, but every time you think about making reservations, you remember the inner-city neighborhood where that restaurant is located and think, “What if we get mugged?” A wave of anxiety and depression comes over you and you feel overwhelmed.
The next time it happens, ask yourself, “What’s that in service of? What is my ind trying to get me to do?” The fact is, maybe you almost never go out at night because it makes you nervous to be away from home after dark. In that case, you’d realize that your thoughts are in service of immobilizing you until it’s too late to make the reservation.
Seeing the purpose of an intrusive thought—usually to prevent you from doing something scary—is very different from buying into the thought. When you buy into a thought, you’re assuming it’s true. When you see the purpose of a thought, you realize it’s just your mind trying to make you do or not do something.
"And How Has That Thought Worked For Me?"
This exercise continues the theme of the previous one. If you have the thought “What if we get mugged?” and feel paralyzed whenever you consider going out at night, ask yourself, “And how has that thought worked for me?” Chances are, it’s worked to keep you stuck at home alone while your partner or friends go out without you, and your life and relationships have diminished over time as a result.
By asking “And how has that thought worked for me?” you expose the consequences of being your thoughts, as opposed to having your thoughts. You gain a bit of distance from your thoughts and throw some light into the space between what you think and who you are.
Write your most typical bothersome thoughts on a 3 by 5 index card and carry it in your pocket or purse. When your mind comes up with one of these thoughts, dismiss it by saying to yourself, “I’ve got that on the card.” You don’t need to once again dwell on past mistakes, worry about a potential confrontation, or catalog your shortcomings. You’ve already done those things, and you’ve got them on the card.
"I’ll Take This Thought with Me and Still…"
Here’s the payoff of the two previous exercises. You’ve defused from habitual, painful thoughts by asking what they’re in service of, and you’ve reminded yourself that buying into these thoughts hasn’t worked well for you in the past. Now you can tell yourself, “I’ll take this thought with me and still…
- make the birthday dinner reservation.”
- finish the report on time.”
- tell her I love her.”
- register for classes on Tuesday.”
This self-statement is shorthand for a major theme of acceptance and commitment therapy, which could be characterized like this: “Yes, I have this thought and it makes me feel anxious (depressed, angry, guilty, and so on), but it need not stop me from living my life. I can have this thought and this feeling and carry on with what I really want to do. As I go forward, this thought and this feeling will come up again, and again I will take it with me. I accept this thought and commit to what I really value in life.”